Billy No Mates!!!!

Friendship, how does someone who knows so many, likes so many and yet still not feel like he has many friends?

The answer dear reader is an easy one, lack of communication, an inability to do anything else but lie in a darkened room and above all apathy and lethargy!

I am the world’s best procrastinator!

I have several things I want to do and yet can’t muster the energy to do stuff I really want to do. My Life right now sucks! I am quite literally a huge waste of space. I am consuming precious oxygen, polluting harmful CO2. Not to mention the waste of power from all my ‘Gadgets’.

I read a blog last night about someone who is dying by inches from Autonomic Neuropathy. It was a sobering read. Her body is quite literally killing itself. But, she went through some similar experiences. She has managed to get through it, and considering the stuff I have to deal with then so can I.

Easier said than done! But we shall see. So to all who follow my ramblings, all those who I promised to keep in touch with, here it is, I promise to try harder to contact you, even if I have nothing to say, because quite frankly the only experience I’ve had that week is pain and the despair of needing more pain relief two minutes after taking the last dose. I promise to try not to moan about how hard life is living in a wheelchair, how every trip needs to be assessed for my safety before embarkation, how I even have to travel with my wife, because if I have a fit when I’m out and about it scares people, and they then call an ambulance and I end up in yet another accident and emergency department, where I’m told there is nothing we can do, go home and sleep it off! Oh and no you can’t have any more pain relief you’ve just has 20µg of Morphine and your telling me that you’ve still got pain! The look is one mixed with pity and concern usually followed by have you had counselling on your drug addiction? Like they would be any different if faced with the same pain I face each waking hour!

I promise to only wear the ‘I’m just FINE and dandy’ smile every time we meet, instead of the ‘ I’m gonna eat you and your kids’ grimace due to pain, I know it causes you upset!

If my being in a chair hurts your sensibilities I even promise to try and sit on a normal chair and tell you everything is ok after I fall of it and end up damaging myself, again!